Islamic View on Relationships: Is Having a Girlfriend Haram?

What if Allah blessed you and you entered Paradise, where you possessed everything you could ever wish for—would you still think of the one you love? Would you still need someone by your side? Yes, even in the bliss of Paradise, a person does not become independent of those they love. When our master Adam felt loneliness in Paradise, Allah created his wife, Hawwa (Eve), so that they might find comfort in one another.

From here, friendship gained its beauty and central place in our lives as human beings. Yet, despite its importance in life, the ease it brings, and the depth it can reach—along with the closeness, brotherhood, and love it produces between people—friendship has not been left without boundaries. Our Islamic faith has defined for it certain rules and conditions.

This article answers the question of is having a girlfriend haram in Islam, explores the issue thoughtfully, drawing on Islamic principles, ethics, and guidance rooted in authentic scholarship.

Islamic Perspective: Is Having a Girlfriend Haram?

When Muslims ask is having a girlfriend haram, therefore, the first condition of friendship in Islam answers this question, and it is that friendship between a male and a female is not permissible in Islam. As they are usually referring to a romantic relationship outside of marriage that involves emotional attachment, private communication, and often physical intimacy.

The Islamic legal evidences are numerous and mutually reinforcing in emphasizing strictness regarding relationships between the two genders, due to the natural inclination with which the children of Adam have been created—each gender being inclined toward the other. This is among the beauties of Islamic law, a sign of its perfection, and a reflection of its consideration for human nature.

is having a girlfriend haram in Islam? As for making the relationship between non-mahram men and women an ordinary one—like the relationship between a man and another man, or a woman and another woman—its invalidity in Islamic law is beyond doubt, and it is clearly prohibited.

Among the evidences for this is the saying of Allah, the Exalted:

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.” (Qur’an 24:30)

This verse commands each of the two genders to lower their gaze from the other and clarifies that this conduct is purer for them—that is, more protective from suspicion and moral corruption. The verse also contains a warning for those who fail to comply, as Allah is fully aware of what they do, and nothing is hidden from Him.

There is no doubt that friendship between the two genders becomes a means of unrestricted looking, and what that leads to in terms of failing to guard chastity. Looking with the eyes is the pathway to committing adultery with the private parts, for the gaze is the messenger of zina. 

Another evidence is the saying of Allah, the Exalted:

“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.” (Qur’an 17:32)

Here, the prohibition is not limited to the act of zina itself; rather, it extends to approaching it. This is more emphatic, as it includes the prohibition of everything that leads to zina or results in it.

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Guidance for Young Muslims on Relationships

When Islam answered the question “ is having a girlfriend haram?” with a yes, it did not leave the human being thereafter confused; rather,  Islam does not deny emotional attraction or the desire for companionship, especially in youth. Instead, it provides guidance with key principles for young Muslims  for Interaction Between the Two Genders Include:

Communication Between Men and Women:

There is no objection to a man speaking to a woman, or a woman speaking to a man, when there is a genuine need for it, provided that the proper guidelines are observed, which will be mentioned shortly. This is supported by evidence from the Qur’an, the Sunnah, and the practice of the righteous Companions.

From the Qur’an is the story of Khawlah bint Tha‘labah رضي الله عنها, who came to debate with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, regarding whom Allah, the Exalted, revealed the opening verse of Surat al-Mujādilah.

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Meetings Between Men and Women:

Such meetings may be required for participation in any noble endeavor, such as beneficial knowledge, righteous deeds, charitable projects, or other activities that necessitate combined efforts from both genders. These situations require mutual cooperation in planning, guidance, and execution.

This type of interaction is not prohibited in itself; rather, it may be permissible or even recommended when the intention is sound, commitment to Islamic conduct is evident, and undue familiarity is avoided—while maintaining lowering the gaze and refraining from soft or suggestive speech.

Friendship Between Men and Women:

This is not permissible in Islam. The reasons include, first, Islam’s prohibition of khalwah (seclusion), as the Prophet ﷺ said:

“No man is alone with a woman except that Shayṭān is the third of them.”

Second, it is practically impossible to keep such a friendship within “natural limits” due to the inherent differences between the two genders. Human instinct will inevitably express itself in one way or another, even if both parties attempt to ignore it.

Romantic Love Between Men and Women:

Love between the two genders in Islam is neither prohibited nor criminalized, because it is an inclination that occurs beyond one’s control. Hearts are between the fingers of the Most Merciful, and He turns them as He wills. 

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said in a hadith narrated by Ibn Mājah:

“Nothing like marriage has been seen for two who love one another.”

However, Islam condemns love that arises and continues in secrecy. Everything that grows in darkness suffocates and ends only in deeper darkness. If attraction occurs involuntarily between a young man and a young woman, then what remains within their control—and what they are accountable for—is that they do not disclose their inner feelings, neither by word, gesture, nor initiative.

They should turn to the One who turns hearts through seeking guidance (istikharah), consult the guardian through seeking advice, and hasten to approach matters through their proper doors when circumstances allow—namely, through engagement and marriage.

Difference Between Dating and Marriage Intentions in Islam

One of the most misunderstood aspects of the topic “is having a girlfriend haram in Islam?” is the difference between dating and marriage-oriented interaction. Islamic law permits a man who intends to propose marriage to a woman to look at her, and for her to look at him as well, so that mutual acceptance may be achieved.

However, Islamic law does not permit secret or private acquaintance between unrelated men and women, even if the purpose is marriage. Rather, the legislated and proper approach is that whoever wishes to marry a woman should seek her hand through her guardian, and she remains a non-mahram to him until the marriage contract is concluded.

If a man wishes to propose to a woman, he is allowed to look at her, provided that no seclusion occurs—such as seeing her in a public place without her awareness, or within a family gathering—while observing the prescribed Islamic guidelines. If acceptance occurs, he then approaches her guardian to formally propose marriage.

Islam recognizes compatibility, communication, and mutual understanding as important before marriage, but it insists that these occur within moral limits. So, scholars answer is having a girlfriend haram by pointing to the structure of dating itself, not merely the label. 

Dating, as commonly practiced, often includes:

• Undefined intentions
• Physical or emotional intimacy
• Secrecy
• Long-term attachment without commitment

In contrast, Islam allows getting to know a potential spouse under clear conditions:

• The intention must be marriage
• Families are aware or involved
• Communication is respectful and limited
• Privacy (khalwa) is avoided

This process preserves dignity and reduces harm if marriage does not ultimately occur.

Practical Advice on Avoiding Forbidden Relationships

Understanding is having a girlfriend haram should motivate positive change, not guilt or despair. Islam always leaves the door open for repentance, growth, and improvement. 

The Prophet ﷺ said: “…and Hellfire is surrounded by desires.” (Narrated by Muslim)

The meaning is that a barrier of desires has been placed around Hellfire; whoever breaks through this barrier enters it. Whoever strives against his own soul by refraining from the desires that surround Hellfire comes to love obedience, becomes familiar with it, and detests sin, finding it repulsive. As a result, acts of worship become easy for him.

Desires are those things toward which the soul inclines without reasoned judgment or reflection, and without regard for religion or moral dignity—such as looking at what is forbidden or engaging in friendship between the two genders. Islam provides practical steps to help believers stay on the right path:

1. Fear of Allah:

“I seek refuge in Allah,” were the words of Prophet Yusuf when the wife of al-‘Aziz attempted to seduce him.
“Indeed, I fear Allah,” says the one who hopes to be shaded under the Throne of the Most Merciful on the Day when there will be no shade except His shade—“…and a man whom a woman of status and beauty invited, but he said: ‘Indeed, I fear Allah.’”

2. Be mindful of your Lord and lower your gaze:

Allah the Exalted says: “He knows the stealthy glance of the eyes and what the hearts conceal.” (Qur’an 40:19)

And He says: “And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight, and the heart—each of those will be questioned.” (Qur’an 17:36)

3. Marriage or fasting:

As the Prophet ﷺ said:

“O young people, whoever among you can afford it, let him marry, and whoever cannot, then let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari)

Allah the Exalted also says:

“Let those who do not find the means to marry keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them from His bounty.” (Qur’an 24:33)

4. Do not approach triggers of desire:

We live in a time filled with trials. The temptations of the internet and social media alone are sufficient—along with what follows from distractions, provocations, and the wasting of time.

5. Your soul—if you do not occupy it with truth, it will occupy you with falsehood.

6. Supplication (Du‘a):

Reflect on the words of Prophet Yusuf عليه السلام when he said:

“My Lord, prison is more beloved to me than that to which they invite me. And if You do not avert from me their plot, I might incline toward them and be of the ignorant.”
So his Lord responded to him and averted from him their plot. Indeed, He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.” (Qur’an 12:33–34)

How Ulum Al-Azhar Academy Educates About Respectful Relationships

Our noble religion is a religion of perfection and comprehensiveness.  There is no clearer evidence of this than Islam’s profound concern for the relationships that form a cohesive society and a stable state—beginning with the family and extending to the entire nation.

Is having a girlfriend haram in Islam? You should know that Islam established the principles that bind family members to one another and unite society as a whole. It commands kindness to parents, maintaining ties of kinship, good neighborly conduct, and acts of benevolence. At the same time, it laid down clear guidelines governing relationships between the two genders.

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Conclusion

So, is having a girlfriend haram in Islam? According to established Islamic principles, yes, it is Haram. Sound reason and a pure natural disposition—one that has not been corrupted by desires or by following whims—both find such friendship objectionable and instinctively recoil from it.

As for the Islamic legal evidences, the Wise Legislator has prohibited communication between men and women except within the framework of a lawful marriage.  Allah, the Exalted, says regarding women:

“Chaste women, not those who commit fornication or take lovers.” (Qur’an 4:25) And He says regarding men: “Chaste men, not those who commit fornication or take lovers.” (Qur’an 5:5)

The term “lovers” (akhdaan) refers to close friends or intimate companions. Taking such companions is prohibited, whether through phone communication, online chatting, direct meetings, or any other forbidden means of interaction between men and women. 

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FAQs about is having a girlfriend haram in Islam?

Is having a girlfriend haram even without physical contact?

Yes, because emotional attachment, private communication, and secrecy can still lead to prohibited actions.

What if the intention is marriage?

Intention alone is not enough. The process must follow Islamic guidelines, including transparency, modesty, and avoiding privacy.

Can Muslims talk to someone they want to marry?

Yes, but within respectful limits, ideally with family awareness and without emotional dependency.

Why does Islam prohibit dating?

Islam aims to prevent emotional harm, moral decline, and social instability that often result from uncommitted relationships.

What should someone do if they are already in a relationship?

They should sincerely reassess the situation, seek guidance, set boundaries, and either move toward a lawful path or disengage respectfully.